Her son was conceived with IVF

I have been so insanely busy. It is great to have the energy again to keep up with the life that I want and enjoy living. But I miss having time to write here, and to keep up with my reading.

For the record, I have to say that I absolutely love the klono.pin that my dr. prescribed me a few weeks ago. It magically calms the crazy swirling thoughts that apparently were sucking so much of my energy up. and also, at night, I actually fall asleep instead of laying awake for hours, and I sleep so well and wake up feeling rested. I seriously love this stuff. My dr told me I could take two pills every day (morning and night), but I only take half every other day because I am afraid that I'll get addicted or something. I read some scary stuff on the internet about this medication, but feel like it has given me my life back.

There is a lady who I know. I met her some time ago when we were volunteers on a local school district committee. We were like-minded in our approach to solving the problems facing our committee, and spent many evenings in the parking lot talking after the meetings. She was older than me, and had a child in the schools. We were in very different places in our lives, but there was always a connection. The committee ended and we went out separate ways, crossing paths every so often. She eventually ran for the school Board, while I ended up serving on another district committee that advises the Board.

The District has been in desperate need of funding and finally put up a school bond measure for the November election. I was asked to be a signatory on the ballot statement in support of the bond, along with a few other very prominent community members. I am not sure what makes me qualified to be at the same status of these other folks - former mayors and local philanthropists - true community leaders. But they asked me, and I said I'd be honored.

In the last week, I've ended up working incredibly closely with this Board member, nearly every minute that I am not at work, to campaign for the passage of this school bond. She really is awesome. And then, on Thursday, as we walked to our cars after a late meeting, I shared that it had been a really difficult year for ML and I.

I broke the silence and said "we found out last summer that we can't have kids."
and she said her son was conceived with ivf.
she understood. she really understood.
and I realized that she also lived with the silence.

I can't stop thinking about how glad I am that I said something to her. Why would she have ever brought infertility up to me?

I want to hug her and tell her that our exchange means the world to me. Instead I wrote her a card today - it just said that I think she is awesome and am so grateful that we are friends.

It seems that I am going to be sucked into this campaign. I keep telling people this bond will benefit my someday kids. The more I refer to them, the more real they become, my Someday Kids, My Someday Twins. The need for this Bond is so great. And my need to be distracted is pretty big right now too. ML has his FNA Biopsy next Wednesday. We'll get results back by October 15th. That will be a tough two week wait for me, and I have every expectation that I'll fall apart when we get the results. So having something else, something bigger than me, to focus on might be a really great plan.

My Puppies. 
Much love to everyone visiting from ICLW. I promise to come visit your site in the next few weeks, and make up for all my missing comments during ICLW. Your comments pop up on my phone throughout the day and make me happier than any words can express. One more picture of my puppy's for your viewing pleasure.  Love to all!



Les said...

Wow- that's great that you're feeling so much better! And really cool about getting to help promote the bond. Isn't it amazing that once you start talking about your own IF journey, how many people pop out of the woodwork that have shared in this same experience? I'm glad you have found a friend in her and I'm praying for you!

Kakunaa said...

Mmm, happy drugs. LOL. Your body does experience withdrawal if you stop them, but as far as I can tell with my usage it's not like ADDICTION. But I am glad to hear that you are feeling better and diving into life again. It really is amazing what happens when you break the silence, isn't it?

Emmy said...

I'm glad that you have that woman in your life who knows what you are going through. It really is amazing how many people experience the pain of infertility. Good luck with the school bond!

Project Baby said...

That's great that that woman got what you were going through and had a miracle of her own.

Jessica said...

That's awesome that your friend 'gets' you and what you've been going through. It's one thing to have blogger friends, but to have IRL friends that have gone through infertility, must be wonderful.

Augusta said...

Hello beautiful Foxy.
I was thrilled to read that you met this woman who talked about her ivf experience. It's amazing what happens when we take risks and open ourselves to others, isn't it? I know that you seek support very well in this venue (and that the support you give is tremendous), but I must say I am glad to read about some IRL support for you from someone who knows the terrible IF. I'm guessing she may have also given you a bit of hope with her story. She has a son. Treatment can lead to babies.

Thank you for the warm comments you've left on my posts lately. I appreciate your comments so much. I'm really glad to hear that the Rumi poem speaks to you and that it has offered you a small anchor through your days. I am reading a great book by Kim Rosen called 'Saved by a Poem' which has for its main premise the ways in which poems can hold us through the darkest of times. I've experienced that a few times and feel amazed at it.

Wishing you well with your work for the election/school bond. Sounds like some distractions are good right now.

You are in my thoughts each day, dear woman.

Kir said...

you know what, everything I open my mouth and tell people how we conceived, it seems that it helps other people, sometimes to understand what a friend or family member is going through or they themselves.. I had found so many people that say "us too"...and there I am with someone who understands, who can relate.

that is a gift some days, that my struggle , that all of our struggles, never know when they are going to help someone else or help US get through our own.

love ya lots Foxy!


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