A love story

I am wanting to introduce baby cakes to the special story of how he came to be a part of our family. I've looked at some of the 'donor conception' books but they just don't feel right to me. So instead I  wrote a little story just for my boy... I am going to add lots of pictures and get it printed into one of those Costco Photo Books. (We already have a few of them, so it will fit in with our collection.)

I'd love your feedback... (asked with a tender heart)

All You Need is Love
Baby Cakes 's Story

Once upon a time there was a little boy and a little girl.

The little boy was named ML. He was born in Maine where he lived with his mommy and a daddy and a big sister who all loved him very very much. When he was still a baby his family moved to Boston, and then when he was even bigger he moved with his mommy and sister to San Diego.

The little girl was named Foxy. She had a mommy and a daddy and two little sisters who loved her very much. She was born in San Francisco, but her daddy was in the Army and so her family moved to many different places, until they finally settled in California to live near her grandma and grandpa.

ML was a very smart independent little boy. He loved to explore and build things. School was easy for him, and he had lots of different friends. He liked music and ...( getting ML to complete this sentence is like pulling teeth...)

Foxy was also a very smart and independent little girl. She loved to play in the forest near her house and make up stories with her friends. She tried very hard to do her best at school and always looked forward to playing sports after-school.

After they graduated from High School, ML and FOxy both went to college. ML studied Architecture and Foxy studied Business. They both made lots of friends and had a lot of fun with their new friends when they were not in class.

One special day, when they were almost finished with college, ML and FOxy met each other. FOxy thought that ML was very handsome and ML though that FOxy was very pretty. ML called Foxy and took her out on a date. The more time that they spent together the more that ML and Foxy liked each other.

ML and Foxy went on many grand adventures together. FOxy took ML to (home) to meet her mom and dad and sisters and friends. ML took Foxy to (home) to meet his dad, and to (home) to meet his sister, and to (home) to meet his mom and aunts and uncles. They went to parades and concerts with ML friends S, and T, and K, and C. They went skiing with FOxy's friends A, and M, and G, and D. They went camping, and to concerts, and a long train ride. They had so much fun together.

On another very special day, ML and Foxy invited all of their family and friends to join them as they publicly announced their love and commitment to each other at their wedding. It was one of the happiest days of their lives.

After they were married ML and FOxy continued to go on many fun adventures - skiing in the mountains, backpacking, camping on the beach with their puppy Callisto, traveling to Maui, and so much more. They had lots of parties at their house and spent lots of time with their friends and family.

ML and FOxy's life was so full of love and they wanted to share their love with a baby.

But after a long time they still did not make a baby so they decided to ask a doctor for help. There were many different doctors who helped them, and they took lots of tests and medicine. The doctors told ML and Foxy that they would need to use a special procedure called IVF and some special donor cells to help them get pregnant and have a baby. ML and Foxy were sad that they needed help, but happy that the doctors could help them.

ML and Foxy hugged and kissed each other and were so happy when they found out that FOxy was finally pregnant. Everyone watched FOxy stomach grow bigger and bigger as the baby grew inside.

Baby Cakes was born on December 27, 2011 in xxx. He was immediately welcomed into the arms of his mommy (Foxy) and daddy (ML) who loved him so very very much. They were so excited.

So many people had been waiting for Baby cakes's grand arrival and there was an explosion of love for this very special little boy. Soon after his birth he was visited by so many friends and family. They showered him with love and kisses and wishes for a life full of joy and laughter and adventure.

Once upon a time there was a little boy.
He was named Baby Cakes.
He had a mommy and daddy who loved him so very very much

All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.

Love is all you need.


This Foxy Mama

I've been thinking a lot about this blog, this space, and wondering if i might need to revamp it. I miss writing so much, and I miss the community that I found here. However things are so different now than when I started writing. It occurred to me last night that it might be time for a new name and a new design. What started out as "Someday" became "My Foxy Family". But the truth is that I feel like its not really my place to write about my family, what I find myself wanting, and needing to write about is myself, and my (not so graceful) transition into this new role as "this foxy mama". So with that I'll be calling my girl Alison and asking if she can find some time to mix things up for me, possibly in the form of a new space altogether.

Now the writers block sets in....

I've been having a rough time the past few months. Well maybe its more that things started to come to a head, i was just hitting a wall. That scary place where you are so close to falling right off the cliff and losing your mind was edging closer and closer. I felt like I was going to implode and was barely hanging on to normal functioning ny my fingernails. I told ML that I was feeling out of sorts, I told him over and over each day that I just wasn't feeling right. I drove past the hospital on the way home from work and thought that maybe I should just stop and check myself in. I just needed a time out - a break from the responsibilities of everything, a safe place where I would be taken care of so that I have a chance to regroup and get my head straight.

Its not like I have any more responsibility than anyone else, In fact I am like a poster child of a supported mom. But it just wasn't working. I was so tired, cumulatively tired, exhausted, that I ceased to be able to think straight. My memory was a disaster, and my reactions to normal daily blunders were exaggerated and out of proportion. But apparently to everyone else it appeared that I was doing alight, dealing with the normal challenges of parenthood. 

As a side note, I have to say that I HATE the way that parenting challenges are 'normalized' by all the experts. It may be 'normal' to be tired, 'normal' to feel overwhelmed, 'normal' for a baby to wake up during the night, etc, but telling me its normal really doesn't help when I am so desperately asking for help. I understand that they want us all to feel like we are not alone, but seriously. It doesn't mean anything if everyone is in the same boat as me if I am the only one who is on the verge of falling overboard and drowning.

I was scared because I really thought I was losing my mind, I really thought that I was going to have to deal with this on my own. I'd been screaming (not really screaming) for help from my husbad, but not being heard.

I could explain the details of what all happened, but the bottom line is that I found a lady who finally listened. She listened and mapped out a plan. She gave me two simple choices and reassured me that things would get better. My anxiety was out of control and she had a solution to help me regain control - and get me the break i so desperately needed.

Thank god for good drugs. The short term plan is working out wonderfully. I feel so much better. I am sleeping so much better. I am working so much better. I am momming and wifeing so much better. And most importantly I can see clearly all of the moments that had been spiraling out of control and stop them in their tracks.

This Foxy Mama has not had a graceful transition into her now role. But then again there are very few transitions that I have been graceful about making. :) And in retrospect I've always been a fairly anxious little being. It makes sense that this wouldn't be much different.

Moving right along to the list of things that I'd love to write more about:

I was quoted in paper twice this week :) I am getting so tired of fighting to save a program in one community when there are so many other communities who are fighting to bring this same kind of service into their neighborhoods. But we seem to have growing support from the larger power structure, so the fight continues. And I pass the torch as Board President at our meeting next week.

I love my boss, seriously love my boss. She has taken on ACOG in the fight to keep midwifery legal in our state - and fix the legislative loophole that prevents medi-cal from offering homebirths midwives as a covered benefit. It is a rather fascinating study on the power of trade lobby groups controlling the legislative process, but she has empowered me to take it on and work every angle that we can to broaden the discussion to include those who are affected by these laws. You can learn more about the fight at www.cafamiliesformidwives.org.

On Thursday last week i ran away. Everyone thought that I was work. Work was told I was home sick, and I ran away to the spa. I slipped into the soft plush robe, sat in the soft recliner, felt the heat of the fire on my toes, and closed my eyes. It was glorious. It was so peaceful. I felt safe and relaxed for the first time in who knows how long. No one was going to bother me, interrupt me, expect anything from me. I got my nails painted. I took a long shower. I read a trash magazine. On the way home I worried for a moment that ML might be angry that I played hookie without letting him know, but then rationalized that it cost a third of what a therapy appt would have :) and I felt so refreshed.

Next up is a plan to escape to a retreat down the coast for a night. They normally are booked for workshops, but if you call in the morning, they sometimes have an extra room available. I've mapped out the days that I could make it work and set a reminder to call those mornings. It wil be my first night away from my baby, but I need it. and I know that he and daddy will deal just fine. :)

My time is up... may this foxy mama rise to the challenges that await!


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