My Weekend with the Girls

A few weekends ago I went on a girls getaway trip. I wrote about the anticipation of it in one of my first posts.  I wrote this right after the trip, but apparently forgot to publish it! 
It was a great trip, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was going thru the motions. 
My Bestie brought her Little One (who I’m going to call LO). Her little one is A.DOR.ABLE. Seriously the cutest sweetest little thing ever. and she loves me. really! We giggled together and cuddled and played all weekend. I told Bestie that she should not pack the stroller so that I could hold the little one instead. and I did, and it was wonderful. 
Bestie knows everything. and she is so sweet and supportive. and of anyone else who knows, I feel like she understands best. She has had her own struggles, struggles that I will never comprehend, and for better or worse she has that pain to draw from. 
Another friend met us, and brought her little girl. She just found out that she is pregnant again. I can’t say that I have much in common with this lady. She is nice, but not someone who I’d want to get into it with. She has a general idea that we’ve encountered struggles, but doesn’t know much more than that. All weekend she kept making comments about movie stars or other ‘single older women’ who use artificial insemination to get pregnant. I’ve never thought to by offended by that term, but omg I hate it. I hate the way she said it, the way she judged. It made me feel so sick. I wanted to scream at her ‘shut the F up and don’t talk about things you know nothing about’. 
I also hated the way that she challenged Bestie’s parenting style. Bestie is the most wonderful loving mother, attentive to the needs of her precious babe. I love watching Bestie be a mother and have so much respect that she stands her ground in the face of others who challenge her mothering. I may not personally agree with the parenting choices of this lady, but I sure as hell down’t put her down for making those choices or challenge her reasons for raising her daughter the way she is. grrr. 
Bestie’s sister who is also a good friend came too. She is a sweetheart, married to the. nicest. guy. I’m not sure what her plans are for starting a family, other than a desire to have their finances secured a little. Besties sister is super creative. She helped me make my first quilt a few months back and always inspires  my creative side. Her ipod was full of music that made me feel so happy, and I came home with a list of artists that I want to download into my music library. (Lauren Hill - remember her? totally takes me back to a very specific semester of college; Jack Johnson - I’d kindof forgotten about him, but have heard his songs pop up here and there a lot recently; Matchbox 20 - yep I loved their cd and their music reminds me so clearly of being on my college campus.)
I do really love girls weekends - getting away from the day to day distractions of life; having the time to have substantive conversations with good friends; remembering how much I love ML and my home. I couldn’t help but thinking that it would be amazing to have a getaway weekend with all of you. I start planning it out in my head, but then realize that none of us have the extra spending money to make something like that actually happen. I do think it would be the most amazing experience to spend a few days with a group of us who have this shared experience. Vegas is a pretty central place with cheap flights and cheap hotel options. If anyone is interested, let me know, and I would so love to plan an infertile weekend retreat. :)



Augusta said...

Sounds like your women's weekend was overall really good, with some challenges. Knowing you, you just handled it all with immense grace.

It's funny that you mention the weekend of IF women. I've been thinking about that too, and how wonderful it would be to all congregate and spend time with one another. Keep me updated with what you are thinking on that front because I would be so excited about a little IF women's weekend.

Kakunaa said...

I have been wanting to plan something local where I am, but I don't have normal weekends or money and I owe visits to soooo many people :( I would totally be into it. Tho!

Les said...

I do a girls weekend with my sisters and I love it! Sounds like you had a good time- and were able to maneuver around some roadblock comments- Have a great week!

Project Baby said...

Sounds like you had an amazing time. Good for you!

Anonymous said...

What a great idea! xxx

adsf said...

The IF girls weekend sounds like an awesome idea! I always wish more of my blog friends lived closer to me.

(from iclw, btw)

Suzy said...

I'd love to meet bloggers IRL, I feel like they get me more than ppl in my real life do.

(And Lauren Hill was my favourite in high school, and my little one ADORES jack johnson - you have good taste!)

Sarah said...

An IF girls weekend would be awesome!

Sorry about the annoying girl. Grrrrr


Sarah said...

An IF girls weekend would be pretty cool!! I have a few friends in real life that understand what we are going through, but I feel like some of those people I use to be very close with don't get it, slowly I am pulling away from them.

Happy ICLW!!

Di said...

Here for ICLW. I can't stand people who are insensitive to IF. Keep your opinions to yourself unless you know the facts! An IF girls weekend is a great idea!

Anonymous said...

After nearly 20 years of taking the 'stupid, uneducated fertile's' remarks, I have finally become a verbal infertile. I don't pick a fight, but I say what needs to be said in the kindest way possible, trying to spare as much embarassment for said fertile as possible.
It's just time to put a stop to the ignorance, imo.
Sounds like you had a great time despite
Happy ICLW!

Stefanie Wolfaardt said...

Girls weekends are the best. I sounds like you had lots of fun.

~Stopping by for ICLW #69

KAM said...

Stopping by for ICLW. Glad you had fun, but sorry about the insensitive comments. It hurts like nothing else, especially when those saying these things know what you are and have been through. Here's wishing you the best!

Anonymous said...

Happy ICLW. I hate it when people make comments about desperate older single women having kids. Most of the time they don't even realize what they're saying and that just reinforces how powerful this way of thinking is in our culture.

Jen said...

Visiting for ICLW - I was reading your history and I'm so sorry to hear that your not able to find any sperm. I admire your persistance though. So many people move on without really trying to solve the problem, mostly because of the doctors just wanting the end result. How frustrating IF is, always getting your hopes up and then being disappointed. I hope you get good news soon, IF seems like its just one blow after another.

AmandaM said...

I love getaways with the girls! So fun and refreshing!

When you get a chance, stop by my blog cause I nominated you for an award! :)

Heather said...

Girls weekends rock! Glad you had a nice time at your getaway. My mom, sister and SIL have a girls weekend every year and love it.

Best wishes!


rebecca said...

Came upon your blog through Augusta...glad you had a good girls weekend! Women are awful at judging each other for everything, I also hate it when people make judgments on situations they really have no knowledge of.
I read your someday story & found similarities that were all too familiar. We also struggled with MFI, we are now in the process of pursuing embryo adoption. Look forward to following your journey and hopeful that the hormone therapy will bring you success!

Keya said...

Its always so nice to know that in the mixed bag of friends we have, there is always that someone who is willing to listen, who understands, and who doesn't judge. It is so important to hold on to these people, because they will be your pillars of support forever. I am so glad you have such a good friend. I loved your poem "someday". So perfect...we'll all surely get there someday.
ICLW # 52

April said...

I'm glad you had such a great weekend away!!


Hillary said...

I am so glad you have a friend that gets it and is supportive. I'm always amazed to find that, especially when it is somebody who hasn't dealt with IF. What a gift, and I'm happy you had a nice weekend get away!


~stinkb0mb~ said...

Girls weekends away do beautiful things for the soul!

As for the other woman judging - hate people who do that. You can't judge another until you've lived a perfect life and no one does that so...

rach @ the miss ruby
my iclw post for this month :

Anonymous said...

I love girls weekend!! So relaxing and fun - sorry you had to deal with that lady who really didn't know what she was talking about though. Bummer.

ICLW #115


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