I'm Confused by Resolve

I just completed the RESOLVE "Tell us about yourself" survey. It was short and sweet, so get online and fill it out yourself.

But now I'm sitting here with a scrunched nose. I'm confused.
Question number 6 asked:

Question - Required -How many years have you been trying to conceive?

That seemed pretty straightforward, but then I got stumped by question number 7. 

Question - Required -If no longer trying to conceive, which family building options are you pursuing? 

I am desperately trying to conceive. And the only way I can do that might be with donor sperm. But the question implies that I am no longer trying. And in some way I guess that trying implies that there is a chance it could happen any month, but it can't because we don't have sperm.  and all of that is actually a bit upsetting to me.

So I realize that RESOLVE deals with some of the most hormonal delicate sensitive ladies out there, and it must be really hard to chose the right words all the time, but still.... I wasn't expecting to get upset about an 11 question Resolve demographics survey.


I had a dream that we were selected by the Cade Foundation for their 2011 family building grant. They will announce the awards later this month. In reality, I think that our application was really strong, but I worry that they won't understand some of the complexities we are facing with the MFI diagnosis. The application was definitely geared towards female factor infertility. For instance the application required a letter from our RE, even though we aren't working actively with an RE. I ended up sending a letter from both the UR and the last RE we met with.  Maybe next year I can offer a few suggestions for their application.

I am actually a little nervous, because if we are selected then we will have to 'go public' with our struggle. I knew it when we signed up, but it still feels really scary.

I saw my regular dr today for what I think is a UTI, yuk. We had a chance to review my meds and my mood. I feel like she really listened to me and trusts what I am telling her. She suggested increasing the happy pill (lex.apro) dosage to 20mg, and adding Clonaz.epam .25 mg on an as needed basis. I'll still have the x.anax as a fast acting panic management tool, but hopefully will not need to use it as often. She assured me that, assuming this new plan works well for me, that I could maintain it through treatment. She said that we could reevaluate if/when i get preggers and likely stay on it until the third trimester. So that is good, and it feels good to know that I have a local doctor who is committed to helping me get through this.

Ohhhh, and most exciting news - My friend, the sweetest strongest lady who did ivf with mtese a couple weeks ago, emailed me today with the results of her beta. The girl is PREGNANT! The beta was so high that the nurse thought it could be twins!!! There is good news sprinkled along this journey, and friends who I never would have met otherwise. Her success, Dory's success, Julie's success, Kakunaa's Success, Bea's success, Circus Princess success - You ladies give me hope that the impossible is possible.



Anonymous said...

Maybe resolve meant no longer trying for biological children (considering the answer choices)? Either way, it's worded funny. I sincerely hope you are selected for the grant. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And congratulations to your friend. That's wonderful news. I hope the next success story is YOURS!

Augusta said...

I'll take the Resolve survey as you suggested. But I agree with you that the wording isn't right. I suspect they may not have had fertility specialists construct the survey and they may not have pilot tested it. And that's my social scientist rant for now.

I'm glad to hear that your GP is a good one. Sounds like she takes time to listen to your concerns and work collaboratively toward solutions. Always nice!

There have been many success stories lately from the IF world and it gives me strength too. Our turn will come, Foxy. We have to believe it!

tishi said...

Yeah, perhaps they didn't really take into account how emotionally unstable we can be with wording :(. You should let them know how you feel so that other woman don't have to feel the same way when they take the test.

So happy for your pregnant friend, and of course to all the wonderful woman who got pregnant along this journey. I hope our turn will come!!!

Kristen said...

so sorry the resolve survey upset you; its hard when you feel that even a group like that doesn't quite "get" you.

hoping the family building grant works out for you!

Jessica said...

I love the Eleanor Roosevelt quote. Very inspirational. That grant sounds exciting- sure hope you get it!


Kakunaa said...

Miracles are completely possible :) I have to go take that survey...I am a lazy shit lately...

Andrea said...

words are everything, with sensitive issues like this. perhaps they should have inserted "trying to conceive 'naturally'?? to be clear? in my mind, people like us are still trying to conceive w/donor eggs, sperm, embryos, etc.

Marianne said...

That confuses me too....using donor anything is definitely not stopping trying to conceive...I would think they would word that better.


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