Puppy Love

My dear sweet puppy has become exceedingly affectionate. I am starting to think that she might sense this pregnancy. She has always been a really sweet dog who is very attached to me.

Maya is our 4 year old German Shepherd, so not really a puppy, although often mistaken for a puppy.

Every morning after ML gets up and out of bed she slowly crawls from the foot of our bed up into his spot on the bed, her head on his pillow, snuggled right up as close as she can get to me. We sleep together like that for another hour or so until she finds some exposed skin, an arm, or my face, or a hand, to start licking. It is annoying, but so sweet and tender that I can't help but love it. Its our time. ML get jealous that in the rare event that I am out of bed before him that she doesn't stick around to cuddle with him, but instead follows me out of the room.

We also have a bedtime routine that, until recently, was like clockwork.  We all hang out in the living room, ML and I on the couch and Maya on her dog bed. When we are ready to make the move to bed, she jumps up and heads down the hallway, stopping midway to make sure that we are right behind her. We get to the bedroom where she plops down onto her dog bed (yes, we have dog beds all over our house!). She watches patiently as ML and I go thru our bedtime routine and finally climb into bed. She waits until we are settled and then gets up, walks to the side of the bed to ask permission to climb up, and then makes herself cozy at out feet. She stays on the bed for an hour or so, then acts irritated by our feet and jumps down to sleep on her bed where she stays until morning when she joins us at our feet again.

Its been like this for ages. Until a few nights ago.

All of a sudden Maya is heading directly for the bed. and not for the foot of the bed. By the time i am done with my bedtime routine and ready to climb into bed, Maya is staked out with her head on my pillow. It takes both ML and I to roll her 70 lb body down to the foot of the bed so that I can climb in. As soon as I am in the bed she creeps her way back up, right in between ML and I. Its like she can't get close enough to us.

Then last night, when I refused to let her in between us, because, you know, I enjoy sleeping next to my sexy husband, she crawled all the way up my other side so that her head was at my pillow. She then proceeded to try and push the covers out of the way so that she could be IN the bed with me. It was bizarre, but so sweet. I could be making this up, but I swear that she was trying to get as close to my stomach as she possibly could. Even stranger was that she stayed cuddled up right next to me the entire night.

Something is going on with my puppy. Whatever it is I am loving all of this special puppy love :)

Just for fun, I have this cute video of Maya when she really was a puppy eating a pumpkin that I'd grown in our backyard.


Foster Placement?

Where do I even begin with this post...

After a complicated chain of events, it looks like my 17 year old cousin is going to be moving in with ML and I.

... just as we were about to reclaim our home as our own.
... just as we are about to take on a huge new responsibility as parents to our own child.
... just as we are preparing our finances to take a big hit while I am out on unpaid maternity leave.

A part of me thinks that this could be a huge disaster. but another part of me knows that we can give her a chance to graduate high school and experience success.

A part of me wonders if its just too late for her. but another part of me feels like she deserves a chance.

A part of me is scared about what impact this could have on my relationship with ML. but another part of me feels like this experience can only make us stronger as a couple.

We'd talked about her situation and the possibility of her living here for some time, but I never really thought that her parents would take us up on the offer. Then her mom called today, ready to take us up on the offer.

ML and I are outlining responsibilities, expectations, and house rules.
and glancing at each other with looks of terror...


Leftover Medication & Lessons Learned

So friends, one of the lessons I learned from our IVF cycle is that some doctors recommend that you order all of your medications at once. I suppose that there are benefits to having all of your medication delivered at once. With a box of expensive drugs you get to take the money shot photo of all your baby making medications laid out on display, and I imagine that there is less worry about a freak snowstorm (in southern california?) shutting down the pharmacy and preventing delivery of a refill order mid cycle.

The downside however is that your medication protocol changes over the course of your cycle, depending on how you are responding to the medication. In my case, my dosages were reduced at every monitoring visit, which meant that at the end of my cycle I am sitting on thousands of dollars of leftover medication.

I shared this with my Doctor after our cycle and he explained that it is illegal to sell prescription medication, however I was welcome to donate it back to the clinic and they will donate it to future patients. I might have been open to this recommendation, except that I wasn't offered any donated medication for our cycle, and seriously I am sitting on thousands of dollars of unused medication. If I was going to make a thousand dollar donation, it would probably be to a very different cause and qualify me for a donation tax credit.

At least I can share this lesson learned with all of you who have yet to order your box of medication. And for our next cycle, when we are ready to do this again, I will most definitely remember to order a minimum amount of medication knowing that we can order additional medication as needed via overnight delivery throughout the cycle.

I am feeling like I want to get these meds out of our house, but at the same time, if I can't sell them, then I might as well keep them around. I'd hate to give them away for free now and have something awful happen that might require us to purchase more. All but the progesterone in oil have expiration dates that would let me hang on until December. Then in December, when I am holding our miracle baby, I might feel better about giving them away.

I keep wondering if there is a way to 'trade' these medications - you know, like a barter of sorts? Any suggestions?

In the meantime, check out my pharmacy of extra medication...

Menopur 2 x 75 iu  (exp 7/2012)

Vagifem estradiol vaginal tablet 10 mcg, #2, (exp 7/2013)

Zarah Tablet (Yasmin generic), 12 active pills, (exp 10/2012)

Endometrin progesterone vaginal insert 100mg, #16, (exp 8/2012)

Progesterone in Oil (Ethyl Oleate) 50 mg/ml, 10ml (exp 10/05/2011) - still sealed

Progesterone in Oil (Ethyl Oleate) 50 mg/ml, 10ml (exp 10/05/2011) - half used, no longer sealed

Ovidrel prefilled 250 mcg syringe refrigerated, #1, (exp 7/2012)

Follistem AQ Cartridge 900 iu, two full cartridges!, (exp 3/2013)

Follistem pen with partially filled cartridge (exp 3/2013)


On Tour

Happy Saturday!

ML and I got home last night from a week long vacation to visit family, friends, and follow one of our favorite bands for a few nights. I've been looking forward to this trip for so long, and had such a great time. It is good to be home though :)

Best part of the entire trip was on Wednesday night. We had just arrived at the show, looking for a place to set up as home base where I could sit as much as I needed, while the boys roamed to dance in the crowd. The venue was mostly standing/dancing, but there were some bleachers set up although they were pretty full looking when we arrived. As we scanned for a few empty seats a man in the very first row caught our attention and asked us if we needed a seat. He said something about pregnant women needing a comfortable place to sit down and offered us the two seats he'd been saving for his friends! We had two of the very best seats in the entire venue, which was beyond awesome and made for a fantastic night.

Even more awesome than the seats, which really were amazing, though was that this was the first time that a stranger had acknowledged that I was pregnant. I could have cried. Instead I smiled the biggest smile and basked in the glow of this experience all night long. It might sound strange, but I've been waiting for that moment for so long. And it was perfect. 

Then later on in the evening a woman sitting next to us leaned over and asked me when I was due :) Again I could have cried. It just felt so good, so perfect.

Another perfect part of the shows was on Monday night when they played one of my favorite songs. ML and I were dancing and as they sang the course "We want you to be happy, cause this is your song too" ML just kept rubbing my belly. It all just felt so wonderful I could barely contain myself.


Phish - 8/8/11 "Joy" from Phish on Vimeo.

Sending lots of love,


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