Shout Out to a New Friend

I just wanted to quickly welcome StarFishKittyDreams to this wonderful blogging community! She just stared her own blog Waiting for Baby and is stuck that difficult waiting place. Her journey started with a positive pregnancy test in early 2008 that ended in a miscarriage, another positive pregnancy test in 2009 that ended in a miscarriage, and now a positive pregnancy test but an ultrasound that is showing growing yet empty gestational sac.

From the moment I first met StarFishKittyDreams I appreciated her welcoming spirit and her positive outlook on the future. She is a beautiful soul and I am so happy to introduce her to my other blogging friends. Please drop by her little corner of this interweb and let her know that she is not alone on this journey.

Infertility E-Class

This past March I took an infertility e-class with Lily from The Infertile Mind. It was incredible. I wrote a post about it earlier, and will forever be grateful to Lily for the gift that she gave me via that class. It was that class that opened the world of this online community for me, and helped me find the most essential tool of writing to help me on this journey.

I am so excited to announce that Lily is going to offer another infertility e-class starting in October! I can't recommend this class highly enough and hope that you will all sign up and participate.

Foxy's Favorite Posts Shout-Out #3

from "Bottoms on and on a Break"

I "met" Augusta when she left a beautiful comment on Megan's blog. I worked my way over to her site, All in One Basket, and spent the next couple hours reading everything she had written. Augusta is a wonderful writer and I was touched by so many of her words. In one post she says, "The risk of hoping looms large in my heart." Oh my gosh does that resonate with me.  The eloquent Augusta doesn't write often but when she does, it is right on.

Speaking of Megan's Blog, Bottoms on and on a Break, I spent another bit of time watching the video's that she has created. Sometimes words just don't do justice to the feelings that are swirling round in our souls.

from Lily at "The Infertile Mind"

Another blogger who I adore, and who, through her infertility e-class this spring helped me connect with this amazing blogging community is Lily, at The Infertile Mind. Lily just published a little infertility e-book - Infertile Inspiration. I love the way that she uses simple gentle graphics and simple gentle words to encourage and support. Her website says that there is another infertility e-class in the works for this fall, and I can't wait to participate again. There is a form on her site where you can sign up to get notifications about the upcoming class.

My friend Determined Dory at Just Keep Swimming, who is also an amazing writer and who is preparing for a TESE IVF cycle wrote a really touching post about "What Makes a Man a Father". She got my tear factory going with her vivid descriptions of the future I dream of for my 'someday family'. Thank you Dory for reminding me to keep my eye on the prize, and not get so caught up with the details about how we get there.

My Sparkle Supplies

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On the off chance that any of you will be at H.ornings next weekend, I would love to try and meet-up for a meander. I'll be with the gnomes and ger.man s.parkle party inspired crew. Send me an email (delete the spaces - f o x y p o p c o r n at gmail dot com) and we can coordinate a time and place.

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I talked to ML about the SA, after I finished my post yesterday, and gave him back the 'keys to the bus'. I told him that I trust his judgement about the timing of the SA and that I would feel awful for ruining our  vacation. He suggested that we reschedule for the following Friday, which will be as soon as we return from vacation. I really do trust his judgement about this, and am at peace with our plan.

I have costumes to finnish sparkling, packing to begin, and some work that is leftover form last week to finnish today. Love to all!

Foxy's Favorite Posts Shout-Out #2

Happy 4th of July!

I was in a training from 9am-9pm all last week with two dozen community leaders learning conflict resolution and mediation skills. It was amazing. I have such high expectations for what can be possible if all of these different (and often competing agencies) worked together to solve the problems of violence and poverty and disenfranchisement that exist in our community. As we wrapped things up on Friday someone commented that we should really be celebrating today as Interdependence Day. Our County thrives as a result of our interdependence on on one another, and we could achieve so much more if we re-framed our story as one of connection and community and interdependence. A little food for thought on this beautiful summer day.

Welcome to the second edition of Foxy's Favorite Posts Shout-Out!

Circus Princess at Circus Children wrote a painfully honest post few weeks ago about the impossible choices that infertility can force upon us. I had to read it over and over again, because it put into words one of the deepest fears that I had when we started this journey. Having a family was the only thing I've ever expected out of life and I can't imagine, simply can't fathom, a life without kids, yet I value my relationship with my husband more than anything and can't imagine, simply can't fathom, my life without him by my side. When it became clear that our family creation options were narrowing I kept saying that living child-free was a choice that we needed to talk about - it needed to be on the table with ds and adoption. My lover kept saying that it was a choice he could reasonably consider, but that it was one he knew I would never accept, therefore it wasn't worth talking about. In so many ways he knows me better than I know myself. It gets complicated because he fears I would leave him if we decide to live child-free, and I fear he would leave me if we chose to have a non-genetic family.  I believe without a doubt that I would chose my husband over anything, and I know that he would chose me. But the reality of the choices facing us are not so black and white. 

One of the first blogs that I read was Jenny's at Among the Blossoms. Her site is so pretty and welcoming, and she has such a positive uplifted attitude. She recently opened an Etsy Store to sell her beautiful beaded fertility bracelets and is hosting a grand opening giveaway. Check out her beautiful jewelry and join the giveaway fun.

I can't stop thinking about my blogger friend Julie at Once More, With Feeling. She is PREGNANT! and I am so happy for her. Her story is similar to ours and I feel a strong sense of camaraderie. She is a beautiful writer and her posts are so easy to connect with. Her amazing dh Jeff also started his own blog, Don't Try this at Home, which makes me laugh every time I read it. I wish that Julie and Jeff lived in my town and that we could be friends. The thing is that Julie's beta is on the lower range of normal, and she is understandably anxious about what happens next. One of the first things I grieved when we found out that pregnancy would not come easily for us was the dream of a 'normal' pregnancy. The surprise of a late period and anticipation of a positive hpt. The unexpected call to my bff to share the news and the burst of joy that fills the room when I tell my mom. It will be different for us. There will be a caution, a hesitation, a protection of our hearts, a delayed joy. Julie comes across to me as being so positive and full of hope, yet she is unable to bask in the glow of this wonderful news that a perfect new life is growing in her belly. The fear of loss is overwelming. A part of me knows that I will react to my own pg with fear and anxiety, and that it is safe to feel so positive and hopeful for someone else. I wish that there was a magic wand that would free us all to experience all the love and joy and happiness of pregnancy regardless of what the future holds. 

I was reminded of this poem while we were in Vegas last weekend. It seems appropriate to share it here, with you, and as a reminder to myself. 

God grant me the serenity to:

Accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can, and

Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past, the
Ability to feel love, and to love each other, and the 
Strength to keep trying even when we feel hopeless

Wishing you all a joyful and safe Interdependence Day!

Foxy's Favorite Posts Shout-Out #1

In the spirit of Stir-up Queen Mel's Weekly Blog Round-up, I'd like to give a shout out to some of the awesome posts that I stumble across. So many of these posts say the things I am thinking with such beautiful and elegant prose. They are posts that I want to bookmark and visit again.  I am going to call it
Foxy's Favorite Posts Shout-Out.


Without further ado...


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I discovered a new blogger this morning - Jackie from Beyond the Brick Wall. She has a great post about a late night Facebook conversation with an old friend. It is a great commentary on the extremely limited background knowledge that our fertile friends have about infertility. It is a great reminder that people are not intentionally cruel when they ask us questions like "when are you going to have kids?" or "why don't you just adopt".  Check it out, and let Jackie know you stopped by.


Megan at Bottoms on and Off the Table has the most incredible Infertility Art Journal. Really. Incredible. I have to keep going back to look at it, because I can really only take in one piece of work at a time.  It has been awesome to be able to read so many stories, but there is something so powerful about seeing those stories expressed visually.


Katie at her blog From IF to When wrote a great post about 'the waiting place'. Remember the Dr. Seuss book that everyone got as a graduation present, Oh! The Places You'll Go? Katie reads to us an excerpt about The Waiting Place and remind us that we need to watch out so as not to get stuck.  


"You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting."



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I am so grateful to this amazing online community. Thank you all for being so awesome, in spite of the challenges. With love and appreciation, Foxy.