One day at a time

First off, THANK YOU all for your amazing outpouring of support yesterday.
And so so so much appreciated! And so so so needed :)

We actually had a really great day yesterday. Q had a nice long nap in the morning, and then my mom came over to help me take him to the pediatrician. He made a little liar out of us as he peacefully let the Dr examine him and talk with us for nearly an hour. After I explained that he only poops every couple days and blows out of his diaper each time, he even made a nice little normal looking poop while we were in the office!

I realized that one of the biggest challenges that us new parents face is that we have no baseline for normal. As the Dr asked me if Q's poop was normal looking, if he farted more that normal, etc... I had nothing but Q's behavior to base my answer on. I found myself saying again and again "I don't know what normal is."

I had to find examples of what I meant by, he cries "all the time"... like, I try to take a picture or video to send to the grandmas everyday. I try to send a happy picture, but barely have time to grab my camera and snap a few shots before he starts crying again. Unless he is asleep, or nursing, he is fussing/crying and I am cycling thru my baby soothing strategies - all day long.

We determined that what my mom and I described about Q's behavior was in fact not normal and that there was a good chance that he had some sort of gastrointestinal issue going on. Instead of trying one treatment at a time, we decided to tackle all of the possibilities at once and see if there is a chance in Q's behavior. Then we can wean off of the different treatments one at a time, to determine which one made the difference.

1) I started a dairy-free diet yesterday. And thanks to the lovely ladies in the braces bunch facebook page I also discovered the "milk soy protein intolerance" (MSPI) websites and facebook page. Cheese is a staple in my diet, and its going to be a serious challenge to cut it out.
2) We started Q on Axid (for reflux).
3) We started Q on Gas Drops.
4) We started giving Q probiotics.

We see the Dr again in two weeks and will reevaluate things then.

I also made arrangements for Bestie's part time nanny to come over in the morning two days next week so that I can sleep in a couple extra hours. I feel like the sleep deprivation is catching up with me and not helping the situation.

My little piggy sporting man boobies at 5 weeks.
The Dr described his weight gain as "impressive!"
For the record, and my memory, and anyone else who reads this in the future, I wanted to mention a few things:
-the 5 S's have been our saving grace. We are methodical about the swaddle (in a thick blanket), shhhh (via white noise ap on Q's dedicated iphone), suck (preferably on a finger), and swing (via bouncing on the ball). The side laying doesn't seem to help. The other 4, when combined, are golden.
- the yoga/exercise ball is possible the most important baby supply we have. We spend hours everyday on that thing.
- the changing station is equipped with a heating pad and blow drier. Q will usually calm down for a few minutes when placed on the warm table with the blow drier on. We've also avoided diaper rash, possibly because we give him a little blow job (hahaha) with each diaper change.
- I started taking lexapro about 3 weeks ago. I'd been on it prior to getting pregnant, and stayed on it until the third trimester when I weaned off. I'd intended to start taking it the day he was born, but felt so happy that I waited. When we found out ML was going back to work, I figured that things were going to get a lot harder. The happy hormones of those first two weeks had also started wearing off. We knew that I was at high risk of ppd and my husband, mom, and dr are all paying pretty close attention.
- we have both the moby and the ergo, but Q seems to like the moby better. I am getting better at wearing it, and he is getting better at sleeping in it.
- the swing is amazing. Q goes to sleep in it every evening at about 8pm for his first stretch. Then I bring him into our bed. He also takes his first morning nap in the swing. When I suspect he is sleepy I can set him in it still awake and he will immediately relax and drift off to sleep.

Again, thank you all for your amazing comments, and emails. I seriously needed to feel like I wasn't alone in my emotions yesterday and your words meant more to me that I can tell you.


Lauren said...

That picture of Q is hilarious!

Stephanie said...

I'm glad you are working on finding the answer to the problem, and I'm sure all of you will feel better soon! Good luck with your new "diet." I'll have to remember the heating pad on the changing table thing - you might be on to something there. :) And enjoy those two mornings a week while nanny is there. Some time to yourself is much deserved, and much needed.

Rach said...

Glad the appointment went well. Sounds like you have a great doctor and hope the changes do the trick!

Liz said...

Hopefully your baby boy will be feeling better with what you are trying. I am sure it is so hard on everyone. You sound like you are doing great given the situation. I will be thinking of you!

Miss Mac said...

Gosh, I need some of whatever you've got in that breastmilk, lol! And how in the world would we know if they "fart more than usual"? Glad you have some things to try and hope it helps... keep us posted. Thanks for your recent comments too!

Anonymous said...

Every time you write about Q it reminds me of Tatoe at that age. It's like watching a movie that I already know the ending to! :) I joke, but I know that these days are pretty hellish for you no matter how blissed out you are that he's finally here.

Tatoe had reflux too, and he rarely pooped. (I learned a lot about infant reflux and how to make our lives easier on the Babycenter boards for it. Come join us! I found that the best board was Surviving Reflux: Dealing with the other colic---reflux, MSPI and other GI issues.) Anyway, Tatoe was on Zantac, thickened feeds, and gas drops for six months with no improvement, and the "better" reflux drugs, the PPIs, made him break out in terrible rashes. After we started baby yogurt though, he changed in just a couple of weeks. His delayed gastric emptying seemed to speed up and he started pooping every day. He stopped vomiting and started just spitting up, and he doesn't randomly cry out in pain any more. I know that at seven months old he's in the age group where some babies start to outgrow their reflux, but I really think it was the probiotics in the yogurt that did the trick. I hope they work for Q too so you can have more blissful moments with him.

Emms said...

I'm just catching up but wanted to give you hugs. We dealt with the. Exact. Same. Thing. For us the gas drops and axid were what worked. Bug wad like a whole new baby, although still high needs. At almost 19 months she is unfortunately still on the axid. Sorry for typos I can't go back on my phone. Either way, within a week of the axid she was so much better. There is hope. I swore we wouldn't have another for months after she was born, but here we are, trying again!
Let us know how it all works!
Ps gripe water also helped us SO much!

Jessica White said...

Huge's not easy dealing with all the complexities of newborn babies. Hope things get a bit better fast.

DeterminedDory said...

I gave up dairy until Evan was 8 months old. It made a huge difference with his gas when he was teeny. Just remember to wait at least 3 weeks before evaluating whether or not dairy-free has been effective, as it takes that long for the cow's proteins to leave your system. Also be sure to read the ingredients on EVERYthing, as there is hidden dairy everywhere! Even quaker chewy granola bars have dairy in them. A friend of mine "went dairy free" right when her baby was born to avoid any gas problems, but two months later realized that her semi-daily starbucks lattee had milk in it. I know, right? Anyway, it's easy to miss. :)


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