A Reason to Smile

ML and I spend a lot of time on the couch, with the tv on, while both of us are on our computer. Bestie laughs at us, but i suppose its our thing.

I love that man so much. I adore all of his different little quirks.

He has been playing a new video game and hums ever so softly as he plays. I love it. I adore it. It makes me bust out a great big smile every time I hear it.

I almost said something to him last night, about his adorable hum, but stopped myself. I doubt he knows that he is doing it, and it I say something he might stop. So instead, I sit here with him on the couch, catch his hum every so often, and have the sweetest reason to smile.

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In other news, I am having a great week at work. It feels so good to be back in the game. I am getting caught up and refocused on the outcomes that I want to achieve this year. It feels good to have that purpose.  This will be a really hard job to leave someday.
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ML and I went out to dinner to celebrate our (belated) anniversary the other night. We had a really great conversation. I was able to talk to him about how I was feeling. He is usually really responsive if I can just tell him what is going on in my head. It was also really REALLY helpful to be able to tell him that what he is feeling, what we are experiencing is normal. I can't thank you all enough for your comments to my emotional post last week. You heard and understood exactly what I was feeling. Hearing that so many of you have had similar experiences was,,, well, I just don't have the words,,, it was amazing. I only wish that we could have sat in a room for hours talking about it all!

I also had a good conversation with Bestie about it all. Her husband is pretty amazing. He works all day, comes home and plays with Little One, then he and Little One make dinner together, and he then walks her to sleep every night. He is one of the most hands on involved dads I've ever seen. Even so, there are times Bestie said when she feels like he should be doing more. She knows just how sweet ML is on me and we laughed about our crazy unachievable expectations.
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A final note for the night... I wish so much that I had some pregnancy symptoms.  Some cramps, Sore boobs, increased urination, nausea, anything that will give me a sign that I am pregnant. Please Please Please can I have some pregnancy symptoms!

I go in for my first blood test tomorrow, but they won't tell us the results until after the second blood test on Friday. I am fine waiting for Friday, if only because it gives me two extra days of this hopeful feeling.

(Mama, Sister, Bestie - if you are reading this, I am going to tell you that we won't know until Monday, Okay? ML and I need the weekend to have this information for just us. So much else of this private process has been shared, and we want just a few days of privacy. Please just play along with me and don't ask until Monday okay? Speak now, or hold your peace till Monday :)

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14 comments :

Anonymous said...

So glad to hear you sounding so much more upbeat and positive. A good chat always helps to clear the air a bit.

Early pregnancy symptoms can also just drive you completely insane. Anything you do feel could just be the hormones that have you on and not feeling anything doesn't mean anything either.

Keeping fingers crossed for tomorrow's test and Friday's test and looking forward to the awesomest news on Monday.

Augusta said...

Awww, I'm really glad to read that you and ML had a good talk and were able to talk about what was on your mind. That is a good, solid place to face whatever news is coming on the weekend (because either way, this is going to be very significant).

I can't tell you how many women I've heard of that have had no early pg symptoms. And those that had them and weren't pregnant. Nothing to hang your hat on, like I remind myself everyday. But I do appreciate that these early pg symptoms are reassuring. At least they have been for me. So, here's to a strong bout of nausea when you wake up this morning :)

A m a n d a said...

That humming thing is cute. When my husband is doing something he has to concentrate on, his little tongue always sticks out a little. Adorable. But I've never said anything either for the same reason as you!

Glad things are going well at work..sounds like a nice distraction :)

Cherbear said...

awwww, here's to a good week! (and a bfp please please please!!

LeslieGail said...

Thanks for your long thoughtful response on my blog, and for the final tip you left me about commenting!

Oh and I bought the gummy prenatals at Target. I was pleasantly shocked that they actually had gummies for adults. I hate swallowing pills. The prenatals are ok, but the calcium ones are really good!

Thinking about you today with your blood test, even though you won't know anything until Friday. And I will be back on Monday for sure to hear the news!

Keya said...

Am soo happy to see you are feeling cheerful. My hubby always tells me when I am down "we have each other, and that is all that matters". You have ML, and that is the most important thing in the world.
As for symptoms, I repeatedly tell everyone. I had NONE. zero. nada. zilch. I missed my period, and thats it. I know its hard not to symptom spot, but please don't be discouraged by lack of symptoms.
Thinking of you and wishing for a beautiful BFP.

Miss Mac said...

PC and I spend our evenings the same way, I don't even know why we turn the TV on. So glad you had a great conversation and dinner, those are the best times. I really hope you get great news this weekend!

E and R said...

So glad to see that you are feeling better - a good talk always seems to have that effect. Crossing my fingers for your BFP this week!

Emmy said...

Yay for a good talk and a good week!

B and I also spend a lot of time on the couch with the tv on and each of us on our laptops! It is a great way to be!

I am hoping so much for you!

Jenni said...

I'm so glad the two of you got a chance to really talk, and have a belated anniversary celebration. I really really loved your little note at the end, that said you needed a couple of days, and not to ask. It's a great way to handle it. I hope your test this morning went smoothly, and I wish you peace and patience until your second beta on Friday. Fingers crossed for a BFP.

Marianne said...

LOL...as I read this CJ and I are both on our laptops on the couch...and the tv is on turned to The Sum of All Fears. heehee

Have a great week girl!! We are all sending you positive vibes!!!

DandelionBreeze said...

So cute that he hums along to computer games... I feel very peaceful sitting with my husband on the couch at the end of a long day, even if we're just watching TV and saying nothing. All my heart and thoughts go out to you for you blood tests... must be excruciating to know that they know the results but you can't find them out xoxo

WaitingVicky said...

I love husband's quirks too- makes him much more interesting. Glad you two had a great talk. Sounds like you are doing pretty well overall :)
Early pg symptoms are a bunch of hogwash I think. Fingers crossed for Friday!

Kir said...

you know what I love those little quirks about my hubby too...that I just look at him sometimes and think that's what makes you my husband, what is that line that Robin Williams says in Good Will Hunting about "those idiosyncrasies that made her my wife" ..I smiled really big reading this.
xoxo

 

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