Our Someday Story

* I met Mr Fox (aka My Lover / ML) a little more than a decade ago, fell in love, moved in together, got a puppy, bought a home, got married, and after a few years started trying to build our family.

* June 2007 - at a music festival in a tent in a forest we 'pulled the goalie' and our 'conceived', in our heart at least our true desire to grow our family.

* Jan 2009 - I called my OB for an appt. My OB told us to try for another 6 months with Ovulation Prediction Kits.

* April 2009 - I knew something wasn't working, and didn't want to keep waiting. I asked for some tests - she ordered day 3 labs for me and a SA for Mr Fox.

* July 2009 - Our world quits spinning when Mr Fox's SA comes back showing Azoospermia. Life simply shattered around us. (We are told we are really special since Azoospermia only affects about 1% of the male population.)

* We discover that our insurance specifically EXCLUDES anything related to infertility. Should I have expected anything more? I am tracking sharing our costs to date here.

* We referred to a Reproductive Urologist - the details have become fuzzy. He ordered more tests - hormones and genetics. Tests all came back normal. UR thought there must be an obstruction and recommended a biopsy to retrieve sperm.

* I saw a RE and got the workup to confirm that I would be a good candidate for IVF. All systems go.

* October 2009 - Testicular Biopsy. No sperm. Diagnosed late stage Maturation Arrest. UR told us our only option for a family was DS or Adoption. We weren't ready to hear that. (Our specialness increases, as we are told this diagnosis is only given to 1-2% of the men with Azoospermia.)

* We referred to a different Reproductive Urologist. He recommended a different kind of biopsy (FNA Map) that took more samples but was less invasive. Maybe there would be a pocket of sperm somewhere.

* February 2010 - Second biopsy - FNA Map. No Sperm. Confirmed diagnosis of late stage maturation arrest. There are 13 stages of sperm maturation, ours are stuck at stage 12.

* UR recommended we try FSH hormone therapy for 6 months to encourage sperm production thru the final stages. If it is successful he'll probably write a research paper on our case. Our other choice is dIUI or Adoption.

*April 2010 - We decide to try the hormone therapy for 6 months. Even if it is successful, we will be lucky to get just a few sperm for IVF. But I have a fantasy that there will be so many sperm we'll get pregnant before our next SA in July. A girl can dream.

*August 2010 - SA after 4 months of hormone therapy still shows azoospermia.

*September 2010 - SA after 6 months of hormone therapy still shows azoospermia. Third biopsy - second FNA Map is performed.

*October 2010 - Results of FNA Map once again confirm diagnosis of late stage maturation arrest. The FSH therapy didn't change anything.

We decide to use ds to build our family. We make a plan to do 4 IUI's then move to IVF if necessary.

* October 2010 - We have our first IUI. Love the 2ww. Beta of 1.5 suggests chemical pregnancy.

* November 2010 - Next IUI cycle canceled due to cysts. Must wait until January to try again. So sad.

* December 2010 - Second IUI just before Christmas. Love the 2ww again. Beta is zero.

*January 2011 - Really disappointed about the failed IUI. Decide to change the plan and take the plunge into a March IVF cycle.

* March 2011 - IVF cycle follows 20 follicles, retrieves 16 eggs, fertilizes 10 embryos, transfers 2, and freezes two.

* April 2011 - The IVF was a success! We have low, but doubling betas, and an ultrasound confirms one little heartbeat due in early December. We are guarded, yet hopeful, taking it one day at a time.

* December 2011 - We finally meet our Someday Baby, Little Fox, and begin a whole new adventure as parents.

* June 2013 - I had been suffering from extreme anxiety and 'scary intrusive' thoughts and finally asked for help. Medication and therapy helped immensely.

* March 2015 - We decided to do a FET with our two remaining embryos. One didn't survive the thaw and the other didn't implant.

* June 2015 - We flew to Denver to CCRM for better odds and started the process for an IVF in November.

* November 2015 - We flew to CCRM for the IVF retrieval. Untilmately resulted in two CCS genetically normal tested perfect day 5 embryos.

* February 2016 - We flew to denver for a single transfer of one embryo. Initial Beta showed pregnancy, but HCG dropped instead of rising. The transfer failed.

* March 2016 - Things fell apart for me. I landed in the Emergency Dept for a Psych Eval, a ton on psychiatric medication, and registration into an intensive outpatient hospital program where I spend 6 hours day in therapy.

*Feel free to write to me at foxypopcorn (at) gmail (dot) com.

Welcome to the story of my Someday Family.


Kristen said...

I just read your comment on my blog (I Spy a Family).

Even though its been 6 years, I can still remember the devastation we felt when we received our diagnosis (PCOS & Endometriosis). Having a family was the one thing I was 100% sure I wanted to do w/my life and it was terrifying and heartbreaking to realize it might not happen.

Becoming parents did not happen the way I'd envisioned; but 6 years later, I type this w/2 little boys playing trucks around my chair. Becoming a mom for me happened through adoption. That's certainly not the answer for everyone, but don't give up hope. Know that, even if it doesn't happen the way you planned, there are still options.

Katie said...

My DH also has sperm issues..although not Azoos. There are some natural supplements out there that are thought to help with sperm production. Have you looked into those? I had poor darling husband on a cocktail of pills. I'm sure you've probably looked into this already, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to pass along some information. Here's an interesting website http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/supplements-sperm-count.html

Good luck on your journey...You have a wonderful attitude!

Michelle said...

I just found your blog on the Stirrup Queens blogroll. My husband also has azoo and we also found out last summer. I look forward to following your journey.

Lindsay said...

I've read through a few of your posts but couldn't find one that I was comfortable commenting on but I think I have a lot to learn from your blog. I look forward to following your story. I'm here via icomleavwe. http://meanttobemama.blogspot.com/

Trying and trying said...

Best of luck on your journey. Reading your blog you seem to have a positive attitude which i feel is needed. My husband and I just began testing so we are both trying to stay very positive about things!

IVFJess said...

I'm Azoo too! (or at least my husband is.) We are special- and our guys who are willing to go through all those biopsies are VERY special.

Hope you get good news soon! Will be thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

Hey, thanks for commenting on my blog GENdMOM and I look forward to getting the chance to go through all your posts. We are also azoo (unexplained), which is frustrating. After going through all the same rigmarole as you did we decided on IUI with donor sperm. We had one pregnancy end in a still birth at 16 weeks, and another 2 successful ones after that. I now have a 2 year old daughter and 16 month old B/G twins. Success in the end, but one heck of ride getting here.

Congrats on the pregnancy and I will follow along on your blog to see how things progress.


Team Harries said...

Hi! Thanks for stopping by and congrats on your almost 1 year old!!! Look forward to following your blog!


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