Nine Months On


I can't begin to describe the surreal feeling that is watching my baby play with the babies of my bestest childhood friends. Last night a good friend visited with her 2 year old daughter. She had also struggled with years of infertility. It gave me shivers to watch my baby cakes chase after her daughter. Our two little miracles.  

Little Dude is cutting his first tooth, on the top, and I feel so proud - as if I have anything to do with it!

I give up as far as any expectations about sleeping through the night ever again. I just give up.

Work is going well. Beyond loving my job, I actually really enjoy being out of the house and away from little dude. I never expected to feel this way, and am so grateful that everything has worked out the way it has.

Just this weekend my baby started standing on his own. We get a few seconds before he panics and sits down, but it is happening more and more, and I can watch him getting stronger.

An ivf friend with a babe about the same age as mine already cycled again for #2. I am still feeling very sure that we are DONE. I seriously don't think I can do the infant thing again. and the thought of twins absolutely terrifies me. This whole experience has kicked my butt big time!

Two good friends are expecting this winter and I want to sew them little presents, but haven't had any dedicated time to work on these gifts. It makes me realize just how little time I actually have for myself for anything anymore.

I continue to feel closer to my little dude. Its taken some time, but I am growing into my role as his mama. It helps that he shows me now that he loves me. Sometimes (rarely) when I leave for work he cries or reaches for me, which strangely makes me really happy. I love knowing that we are connected like that.

Much love to all of you who are still fighting for your dreams. You are always in my heart.



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4 comments :

Marianne said...

I also have given up on sleeping through the night. A friend told me age 4 is when you can finally sleep at night. God help us!!!

Isn't it great that they can show their love a little now?? It makes the sleep deprivation a little but more tolerable. Little bit :)

Love ya girl!

Stephanie said...

Aww, what a great picture!

Augusta said...

What a wonderful update, Foxy. You sound very well, and I love to read that. I'm sure there are still big challenges in being a mom and working and everything else. But you seem to be feeling better about how you are managing all of that.
I love the picture of you and your sweet boy.
Take good care, dear woman.

Hannah said...

He is so handsome! I don't know if I'll ever get to the point in writing "we are done". That is tough but we also know how tough it is to actually get the miracle of a child.

 

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