Besties Blessingway

I hosted Besties Blessingway this weekend. It was so beautiful. and felt so different from last time.

I cried at both events. For very different reasons.

The day was beautiful. We gathered outside on a sunny patio surrounded by a private oak forest looking out over a little valley. When I drove up to the house I was greeted by a mama deer and her two fawn.

The guest of honor arrived a little late, which gave me some extra time to set up the chairs, yoga mats, and prepare a special foot bath for the mama.

My mom had helped me prepare a program for the morning. We had special roles for everyone in the circle, with readings, songs, blessings, and sharing.

I felt so good sitting in the sunshine, next to bestie, with so many women I love within my view. We were there to bestow blessings on Bestie as she prepares to welcome her second child, a son. However I felt blessed to be in that space, and to know that, this time, we are on this journey together.

Whereas last time, when we gathered to bless her as she prepared to become a mother, fighting back the tears of sadness had me so choked up that I was unable to speak the love and joy that I none-the-less felt for her. This time, I felt at such peace joyfully sharing my blessings for a healthy pregnancy and birth, telling bestie what an honor it has been to watch her so beautifully mother her daughter, and sharing my joy that we finally get to experience this together.

As hard as it has been to believe that this pregnancy is real, it is moments like yesterday that I am overcome with the reality. For whatever happens, wherever this journey takes us, this is real today. and I am so overcome with gratitude. For being able to experience yesterday in such a warm, joyful, perfect way. For the expressions of joy that others express when they learn of our blessing. For my sweet mama and sister who are so lovingly planning a shower for me. For all of it, I am so grateful.

I thought about what I might like for my blessingway. My mom has been asking me, but it felt too soon to think about it. Lying in the sunshine yesterday, as we finished a guided yoga practice, I thought about the ways that I need our blessing to be about ML and I as a couple, to honor the journey that we've been on together to get here. A blessingway for me will be as much about honoring the transition to motherhood as it is about honoring this experience. I also thought about who I might want with me, and so many of your come to mind. One way or another, I do believe that I will find a way to make that happen, at least symbolically. It felt so good to be able to let these thoughts fill my head.

When Bestie shared her love for me, her compassion for what we've been through, her joy at getting to experience this pregnancy together, her respect for the strength that she sees in me, my heart filled with love and my eyes with tears. How I ever ended up with the friendship and love and respect of someone so amazing as her, well, I feel lucky beyond belief.

It really couldn't have been a more perfect day.

Opening Circle - Grammy J

• Please join us to create this circle of love and support for B. Let us join hands and together take three deep breaths. 
• A blessing-way is a ceremony that creates a sacred and safe environment where the mother can explore the challenges and joys that lie before her as she approaches birthing and mothering, surrounded by the most important women in her life she gains a sense of power, confidence, and support that will help her rise to motherhood.

Nurturing the Mother - Foxy

• Part of our blessingway today includes nurturing the mother by making a comfortable space for B to relax and accept the love and support that we are here today to offer her. As B's family grows and she takes on the new role of nurturing another child, she will be able to call on her own experiences of being nurtured, by her Mother, and all of the other women in her life. A foot bath honors a woman's “own two feet” in which she will have to stand to care for another human being. It definitely soothes the mothers feet to prepare her for a peaceful journey.
• We’ve prepared a warm foot bath for B. Please help us make her comfortable as she relaxes in this space.  

Opening Song - S

We All Came to Welcome You, We all came to your birth

We all came to welcome you, To welcome you to earth.

And I was there to love you, 

I was there to love you, I was there to love you

And give my body for your quick and easy entrance here

From heaven’s open door

Introductions - A

We will each introduce ourselves and share our connection to B.  As we introduce ourselves we will say the names of our sisters, mothers, grandmothers, and daughters. 

Reading - K

I am a willow tree, strong, yet fluid, graceful.

I can bend with the wind, but my roots are tough, indestructible.

Opening to the birth of my child, is flowing with the wind:

from a soft and gentle breeze, to a stormy gale, 

back to a soft and gentle breeze.

My body is strong, but flexible.

It is my friend, it knows how to open.

I am a friend to my body, eating well, walking, and loving myself.

I shall give birth safely, freely, openly...

among my loved and trusted ones.

I am the willow, flexible, beautiful, resilient,

endowed with the power of surrender

to the wind rustling through my leaves, my branches.

My roots reach deep into mother earth, anchored in her strength

I bring forth life, in joy!

Offering your blessing - Auntie A

This is an opportunity for everyone to share a wish or a blessing for B as her family grows. This is a time to share wisdom, dreams, and wishes with B. As each person offers their blessing, they will give B a symbol of their blessing in the form of a flower. 

Yoga - B

Please join us for a special session of yoga. 

Reading - Auntie L

To Our Children by mary jane paustenbach

These children of ours- so bright and so young, 

will bloom into the flowers of our love for them,

will grow so bright and strong to nurture their own wee ones,

to love and be loved as we are loved and love them, 

until year after year we mingle the generations upon

generations of love.

Closing Circle - Nano G

Before we close this circle today we will take hands and B will pass a squeeze around the circle. As B approaches her delivery, please send her your best thoughts for a calm, productive, and safe delivery.

Closing Song - G

Ancient Mother I hear you calling

Ancient Mother I hear your song

Ancient Mother I hear your laughter

Ancient Mother I taste your tears

Creating a symbol for Baby Boy - Auntie A

We will be welcoming baby boy into the world by decorating unique onsies for him to wear. B's son will be wrapped in our love and affection when he wears the clothes that we decorate today.

Breakfast 

Please join us for a light breakfast.