I knew exactly which comment to submit. I love all of the comments that I've received this past year, (I really, really mean that,) but there was one that really meant so much to me when I received it and has continued to serve as a source of strength and encouragement.
Thank you again Augusta for the loving supportive words you left for me this summer on my "My Scarlet Pain" post.
*****
On a related, yet not totally, topic I recently stumbled upon Mel's "How to Leave a Good Comment" post series. (Part 1, Part 2)
My most wonderful ML often asks me what I'm doing as I sit on the couch with my feet up typing away on my laptop. More often than not I'm commenting. ML now knows all about the special commenting week and also how much I love the comments that I receive.
Since I love commenting so much and since Mel posed some discussion questions in her Good Comments posts, I am sharing my answers with you.
What does commenting mean to you? Why do you comment? Hmmm. To be honest, I see comments as a place for me to process what I have read. I read a post and it gets me things, and right there is a space that is inviting me to share those thoughts. So I do it for myself, because writing is such an amazing way to organize my thoughts. There is an element of giving back too. This online community has given me SO much, and for SO long I took without offering anything back, now I have the strength to pay it forward. And finally, I feel like some of you have become friends, and commenting is kind of like how we chat with each other.
What are your thoughts on new commenters (if they do so thoughtfully) especially those outside your experience (for instance, someone commenting on an adoption post though they’re doing IUIs)? What about long-time commenters leaving simple comfort on a post when their experience is far outside your own? I love new commenters. I love long-time commenters. Whatever their experience, if they are moved by something that I have written and feel compelled to leave a comment, I welcome it. I know that it is hard sometimes when I'm on a new blog to know exactly what the history is and what the personality of the author is, and I do try to be a bit more careful in what I comment on. My general expectation is that a new commenter will read the summary that I have posted on my sidebar before commenting, so that they know what our diagnosis and treatment plan are. I try to do the same, but sometime there isn't much info to work with. Other times there just aren't any words that express the support that we want to give, and in that case, I think that a very simple "thinking about you" is appropriate to at least let the author know that they have been heard. Almost every comment I've ever read, on my blog or others, has been made with good intentions and deep compassion, and I so appreciate the way that this community supports its members.
Do you ever close your comment box on a post? I never have, but I totally reserve the right to do so! :) and I totally respect the choice of anyone to close their comments at any time for any reason. (Same thing goes for deleting comments. This is my space and I wouldn't hesitate for a minute to delete a comment that made me feel uncomfortable.)
Do you feel comfortable commenting on a new blog and what makes you feel like a comment is welcome vs. strangers keep out? After I started writing, there wasn't anything that could stop me. I leave comments on almost every blog I visit - maybe not every post I read. I love the 'conversation'. There is almost always something that the author has said that I can connect with and that gets me thinking about this journey in a new way. I guess that there are times when I am on a blog that has been around for a long time and has its own cadre of "friends" and I hesitate to join the conversation, but I usually get over myself and leave a comment anyway. The thing that really makes me feel 'welcome' is after I leave a comment and the original blogger comes back to my blog and leaves a comment.
Do you think there should be a timetable for commenting? nope, no timetable. no pressure. There are days and weeks when I have comments to share, and other times when i just don't. I think that comments should flow like conversation. Sometimes there is something to say and sometimes there isn't, and sometimes there is more to say later.
Is it ever too late to leave a comment on a post if you don’t close your comment box after a given amount of time? Oh my gosh, I've left a gazillon comments long after the post was written. I gain so much out of the stories that are shared here and often that includes reading back from the beginning of a blog. When a post hits home for me, I always try to leave a little note, no matter how long ago it was originally posted.
What do you think about short comments that simply express sorrow or happiness for you? I love them. I love the feeling of not being alone in my emotions. I love knowing that there are others out there who hear me and who understand. Sometimes the things I share here are not shared anywhere else, and the comments I receive are feedback that let me know I am in good company.
What is some other advice you would offer on how to leave a good comment?
Compassionate, sincere, relevant, honest. Be those things, and your comments will be amazing and perfect.
Do you hate the "Captcha" spam deterrent technology? (Mel didn't ask this question but I've been wanting to comment on it, so I'm adding it to the list here.) I HATE those captcha things. I get them wrong all the time and actually lose comments regularly because I am too lame at completing the captcha correctly. I don't have one on my comments and have never received a spam... Are those things really necessary?
In closing, Three Cheers for Mel and The Grateful Said. What was YOUR favorite comment from 2010?
5 comments :
I love this idea of the Grateful Said but I am overwhelmed with the idea of picking one comment!
I also love the idea - but would have a hard time picking one comment. This community has been a huge support system for me as we go through this journey and I also feel like I have friends here.
I love that Mel started the Grateful Said too! I need to go through my comments and pick a favorite. Thanks for sharing yours - that was definitely a great comment and I just added Augusta's blog to my reader :)
I haven't even had time to read the Creme because of all the blogs I read, LOL. So I love the new idea, but simply don't think I will get to it.
I try to comment on every post I read - probably have a 90% avg, and it's becoming increasingly difficult. Goodness knows how I will participate once Cricket arrives! Eeek!
Awwww, Foxy! You are one to make me blush, dear girl. Seriously, I'm really glad that my comment had meaning to you and that it brought you some comfort. That's the whole point of this endeavor, isn't it? That's why we are writing online and not (or as well as) in our journals. We need to be heard, to be seen, and to have our experiences reflected to us through others. I cannot stop being amazed by how meaningful the connections with you and other women blogger are to me.
Thank you, Foxy. I've really cherished your comments on my blog as well.
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